What Is Grief?
The word grief originates from the Latin word ‘gravare’ which means to make heavy. Gravare itself comes from the Latin word Gravis, which means ‘weighty.’ So grief translates as something ‘heavy.’
Grief is the response to any kind of loss, of which there are many kinds aside from the most obvious being the death of a loved one. With it being a multi-facetted and often complex subject, often not spoken openly about, there has been little opportunity to create a wider understanding.
Experiencing loss of any kind is a uniquely personal experience and even though someone may share a similar loss, it can never be assumed that we ‘know’ how they are feeling. Rather, it needs to be appreciated that each person’s loss experience is wholly their own.
“EACH GRIEF HAS ITS OWN IMPRINT, AS DISTINCTIVE AND UNIQUE AS THE PERSON WE LOST.””
‘Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler’
With grief not being exclusively a response to the death of a loved one, it is not uncommon to find yourself experiencing grief without realising what the trigger might have been. The following events can represent significant loss in our lives and trigger a grief response :
• Loss of a friend through life circumstances or death.
• Death of a partner, husband, wife.
• Divorce or relationship break up.
• Retrenchment or loss of financial security (losing the home, etc).
• Life altering injury, resulting in physical impairment of some type.
• Immigration
• Institutional loss, such as a Church or your Employer who fails to live up to their promises or fails to protect you.
• Catastrophic loss, such as war, natural disasters.
• Traumatic loss, such as suicide, homicide or by accident.
• Infertility.
• Celebrity death.
• Abortion.
• Adoption.
• Separation due to foster care.
• Loss of a lifestyle.
• The living loss of a loved one due to Alzheimer’s, dementia or disability.
• Death of a patient or a client.
• Disappearance of someone who has not yet been found.
• Cumulative Grief – accumulated grief of living through several losses, with the most recent losses triggering the grief of the previous losses.
• Ecological Grief/Climate Grief when a real sense of loss is experienced at the, often, irreversible damage wreaked upon the planet.
• Collective grief which manifests in the wake of major world events/widespread tragedy, eg. Covid, 911, war, natural disasters, etc.
• Loss of human interaction, such as experienced through Covid lockdown.
• Loss of control over our lives due to external circumstances (like Covid).
• Unrecognised relationships – grief over having to conceal a relationship, as what often happens within the LGBTQI community or polyamory relationships.
• Loss of language, culture and tradition.
• Disenfranchised grief – unacknowledged loss due to miscarriage, premature death, an affair or drug overdose.
• Cyber loss, of someone who was only known to you online.
• HIV/AIDS
• Grieving someone you no longer remember, such as a parent/grandparent/sibling who passed when you were very young.
•Loss of treasured possessions through a fire, flood, theft, etc.
• Loss of identity often experienced through divorce/breakdown of a relationship or loss of employment.
• Loss of a beloved pet companion.
• Delayed grief/inhibited grief.
• Secondary losses from a primary loss.
• Anything that feels like loss to you
• Vicarious grief – grief experienced through empathetic engagement with a mourner
LIST OF SERVICES
In person/Online/National/International.
I offer mobile services to the client’s own home and after hours
• Individual Counselling focused on grief/loss. See list above.
• Grief and Loss education.
• Companioning through grief.
• Creating Advance Care Directives.
• Palliative and Hospice Care Guidance.
• Disability companionship offering encouragement, motivation and guidance.
• Sitting vigil with the dying.
• Memory and Legacy Projects.
• Funeral and Memorial Planning.
• Rituals of Remembrance.
• Organising and downsizing as life circumstances change.
• 12 Week Counselling Course (Individual or Group) on understanding Suicide Grief.
• Bibliotherapy – education through literature and recommended reading.
I have completed my certification with Mama-Nuture and able to assist families with loving care and memory making in circumstances of stillbirth, prem loss and with elective terminations.